Our hearts are locked forever and our love will never die...

Bigmouth Strikes Again

2009-12-10T10:43:29Z

Title : Bigmouth Strikes Again
Author : Me
Rating : PG
Pairing : Brian Molko / Stefan Olsdal
POV : 3rd
Summary : Brian gets really angry at someone in the audience during the show. After it, Steve and Stefan really want to know what's wrong. But Stefan will not be happy about it.
Disclaimer : Yes, Brian did get mad at someone in the audience during Placebo's show in Rotterdam. Yes, he and Stefan talked as they went offstage. But I'm pretty sure that the rest of this didn't happen XD
Author Notes : I got the idea for this when I saw Brian getting sort of angry, and them talking while they went offstage. So I wrote this yesterday, because as you all know, I don't have a life XD

Brian is on stage, performing with his band Placebo, when all of the sudden he sees a guy in the audience yelling bad stuff about Stefan, the bassist. He can’t hear him, but he sees everything he says. Stefan is his best friend, so it pisses him off real badly. It’s their last song of the night, Taste In Men. He goes to the front of the stage and sits down on the edge. He keeps playing the guitar, but he looks extremely pissed off at the guy, who’s still yelling stuff about Stefan. But now he’s also holding a knife above his head. Brian gets really angry and gets up again and just keeps playing the song. But Stefan and Steve, the drummer, had noticed that something is wrong, so as soon as the song is over, Stefan goes up to Brian.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as they walk offstage.

“That son of a bitch there is talking shit about you, and he has a knife,” Brian says without looking up, and he keeps walking. But Stefan stops and grabs his arm.

“A knife?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go tell the security,” Stefan says, and he walks away. Brian just goes to the dressing room, still furious. He’s changing his shirt when Stefan walks into the room. Steve had gone to the bus already, because Brian was so cranky.

“And?” Brian asks.

“They’re kicking him out, there’s nothing more they can do.”

“Oh,” is all Brian says, but he still doesn’t turn around. Stefan walks up to him, grabs his arm and turns him around.

“What is wrong with you today?”

“He was talking shit about you, he called you a fucking faggot.”

“So? Every night when we’re on stage there’s at least one idiot who calls me that, you know that. I don’t care.”

“But I do!” Brian says, and he pushes Stefan away. He walks to the other side of the room and grabs a shirt off of the chair.

“Why do you care so much anyway?”

“Because you’re my best friend, and I don’t want people to call you that.”

“Look, I think it’s really sweet that you care about me, and that you don’t want people to say bad things about me, but if you’re going to get angry at every person who doesn’t like me, good luck, because it’s gonna take a long long time,” Stefan says, and he walks out of the room. Brian puts on his shirt and sighs. He walks to the wall and punches it, not even caring if it’ll hurt his hand. Then he quickly grabs his stuff and goes to the bus too. Steve is sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of ice-cream, but he looks up when he hears someone entering the bus. But as soon as he sees Brian, he looks down at his food again.

“What happened?” he asks, still not looking up. Brian sighs and goes up to him, but he doesn’t sit down.

“Some guy called Stefan a faggot, and I didn’t like it, so I got angry,” he says, and Steve looks up.

“Not that I like it or something, but doesn’t that happen pretty much every night?”

“Yes it does, and I hate it.”

“Does it hurt you because you like guys too?”

“No, it hurts me because Stefan is my best friend, and I don’t want people to hurt him,” Brian says, now sounding annoyed.

“You can’t stop it anyway.” Steve shrugs, and he takes another bite of his ice-cream.

“I know, where is he anyway?”

“In his bunk, but I don’t think you should go to him, he didn’t look too happy.”

“And you can decide whether he wants to see me or not?” Brian asks, looking angry at his friend. He walks towards the bunks, but Steve quickly gets up and grabs his arm.

“I really don’t think you should go there, he was really upset,” Steve says, and Brian is just really shocked that the much younger man is trying to stop him. He looks angry at the hand on his arm, and Steve sees it. And even though he is bigger than the older man, he is still scared of him. He lets go of his arm and quickly sits down again. Brian opens the curtain to the bunks and goes into the sort of room. He closes the curtain behind him and sits down on his own bed. He stares at Stefan’s bunk, well, at the closed curtain and sighs.

“Go away,” Stefan says, but of course Brian doesn’t leave. So after ten minutes Stefan finally opens the curtain. Brian sees that he’s been crying, and he feels really bad, but he doesn’t know what he did wrong.

“Are you mad at me?” he asks, and he looks into Stefan’s eyes. Stefan shakes his head and sighs.

“No.”

“Then what’s the problem? I did it because I care about you.”

“I know, but… I can deal with being called stuff, I mean, I know that they’re just stupid, and that there’s nothing wrong with me. But when you make a big deal out of it, it just hurts me more. You know what I mean?”

“I do, and I’m sorry. But I just can’t stand people like him.”

“I know, and like I said before, I think it’s really sweet, but…,” Stefan says, but then he stops talking and he lets out a big sigh.

“I understand that, and I’m sorry. But you’re my best friend, and I love you, so…”

“You’re my best friend too, but you have to stop caring about idiots so much.”

“I know, I just love you,” Brian says, and he looks down at his hands.

“I love you too,” Stefan says, and he gets a tiny smile on his face.

“No, I love you…”

“And I… wait… you mean…?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“No, don’t be, I just… I have a boyfriend, you know?” Stefan says, and Brian looks up at him.

“We all know that you two broke up over a month ago.”

“How do you…?”

“Does it matter?”

“No, but…”

“I know, I’m just your best friend, and that’s fine. I just wanted you to know.”

“Can you please let me finish a sentence?” Stefan asks, looking a bit annoyed.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. I was gonna say that I love you too. But our friendship means more to me than anything in this world, and I don’t want it to get ruined.”

“Me neither, but I do have these feelings for you, so…”

“Oh come on,” they all of the sudden hear Steve saying, and Brian gets up and slides the curtain away. Steve is sitting on his knees in front of it, eating his ice-cream. Brian can’t help but to laugh, because he looks so much like a little kid now. “Sorry, I just… come on, it’s so obvious that you’re in love. And of course it’ll work out and won’t ruin your friendship, you’re pretty much like a married couple already anyway.”

“And then who are you? Our son?” Brian laughs.

“Pretty much,” Steve laughs. “But seriously, you really need to get together already.”

“Well, if our son says so…,” Stefan laughs, and Brian looks at him.

“See.” Steve grins, and Brian closes the curtain again. “Not fair,” Steve says, but he doesn’t go anywhere, he wants to hear everything. Brian goes up to Stefan and sits down next to him.

“So, what do you say?” Stefan smiles.

“I say we get together,” Brian laughs, and Stefan shakes his head. “No?”

“Oh no, we do. You’re just cute,” Stefan laughs, and Brian looks into his eyes. Stefan feels like he’s drowning in his eyes, but then he snaps out of it because Brian has put his hand on the side of his face. He leans forwards and kisses him. Stefan kisses him back and wraps his arms around the much shorter man that’s sitting next to him.

“Mhm, you’re a good kisser.” Stefan smiles when they stop kissing.

“Like we’ve never kissed before,” Brian laughs.

“We did, but that was different.”

“Was I bad then?”

“No, just different.”

“How?” Brian asks, and Stefan laughs and sighs.

“Shut up and kiss me,” he laughs, and of course Brian does as he is told. But when they’re kissing, Steve all of the sudden comes up to them and gives them a big hug.

“Hello,” Brian laughs, and they both look at him.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m interrupting your little moment, but I’m just so happy.” Steve grins, still hugging them.

“Now you are, but you probably won’t be tomorrow,” Brian says, and Steve lets go of them and looks confused.

“Yeah, you better wear headphones tonight,” Stefan says, looking really serious.

“I don’t have headphones, but why would I…? Wait… no, while I’m pretty much in the same room?”

“Well, we’re in love,” Brian laughs, and Stefan grabs his hand.

“True, and you know what couples do at night,” Stefan laughs, and Steve pouts.

“That’s not fair…”

*********************************************************

a/n: Yes, I realize that this is really bad, but oh well, I had nothing better to do than post it anyway XD

Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (7/8)

2009-12-10T10:21:33Z

Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (6/8)

2009-12-07T10:20:55Z

Title : Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love
Author : Me
Rating : R
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : Ryan's
Summary : I know there’s a chance that our family or friends might read this. It isn’t like the people we know don't buy this magazine. If they read this and think that I’ve written it, they shouldn’t bother asking me about it. I won’t admit it anyway. I use names, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe this will freak you out, maybe you’ll hate me, maybe you won’t. Either way, here’s my story.
Here's Ryan's story about the relationship between him and his brother, Brendon.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : I really dislike the final 3 chapters of this fic, but I hope you like it =P

We had to walk back to the club, because our car was still there. But we both didn’t say a word ‘till we were driving home. He grabbed my hand and said how sorry he was.

“I did the same thing,” I said, and I felt extremely guilty.

“I know, but it doesn’t feel right, does it?” he said, sounding desperate and hurt.

“No, of course not. But maybe we should have a life outside of our apartment. It’s weird if we… you know, we’ll seem like loners with a secret or something.”

“I know, and I don’t want people to suspect something, but I’m in love with you, not with her.”

“I’m not in love with them either, but maybe we should just pretend.”

“And use them.”

“Yeah…,” I said, and I held his hand tighter. I know that it sounds terrible, that we were gonna use those girls, but we felt like we didn’t have a choice. And trust me, I regret letting them into our lives.

Everything was okay for a couple of weeks, well, sort of. It was awkward, but we dealt with it. But one night everything changed. We were at their apartment and we got drunk, but not as drunk as the girls. They came with the idea to all have sex together. Of course Brendon and I wanted to have sex, but all together seemed weird. When we said that, they said that they had a pill to make it easier. We both took two pills, and they were right, it made it easier. It made everything seem okay, and everything seemed perfect. It was exactly how I wanted to feel.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt terrible. Brendon, me, and the girls were all lying in the same bed, all naked. I started to cry real badly, because I felt so sick. Brendon woke up and tried to comfort me. The girls woke up too and gave me another pill. That’s how I got addicted.

I was always happy and feeling good, except for when I didn’t have drugs. Then I would sit in a corner and cry ‘till I’d fall asleep. It really hurt Brendon and our relationship, which I hated, but I cared more about drugs. On our 19th birthday we all went out and got really drunk. Brendon only drank a lot to forget about my problems. We were supposed to go home with the girls, but I got into a fight with them, so we went home. I was really cranky, so as soon as we got home, I started to pick a fight with my brother too. He went to bed, crying, and I felt so guilty that I took a lot of pills, just to forget about it.

When I woke up in the hospital, two days later, Brendon was sitting there, holding my hand. I felt really sick and tired, but also happy when I saw him. As soon as he saw that I was awake, he got up and wrapped his arms around me. He even kissed me, even though everyone could see us.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he said, tears rolling down his face.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to forget about everything,” I said. He kissed me again and left the room. I thought that he left me, and that I would never see him again, but a couple of minutes later he came back with a doctor.

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Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (5/8)

2009-12-05T16:09:45Z

Title : Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love
Author : Me
Rating : R
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : Ryan's
Summary : I know there’s a chance that our family or friends might read this. It isn’t like the people we know don't buy this magazine. If they read this and think that I’ve written it, they shouldn’t bother asking me about it. I won’t admit it anyway. I use names, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe this will freak you out, maybe you’ll hate me, maybe you won’t. Either way, here’s my story.
Here's Ryan's story about the relationship between him and his brother, Brendon.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : Sorry that this is so late =(

Nothing happened between me and my brother until a couple of days before our 18th birthday. We were at school when the headmaster all of the sudden told us that we had to go to the hospital. By that time, our parents were both alcoholics, and our mother was really depressed. We assumed that they’d gotten into a fight again, so we weren’t too worried. But when we got there and saw our father sitting there, crying, Brendon stopped walking. He grabbed my hand and I saw in his eyes that we were thinking the same thing.

“She killed herself,” he said, and he held my hand tighter.

“You don’t know that,” I said, even thought we both did know it. He let go of my hand and we went to our father. He immediately said that she was dead, and after that everything was insane.

On our birthday, a day after the funeral, Brendon and I were sitting in our room, both on his bed. We were holding hands, but then all of the sudden he kissed me. It hadn’t happened in almost two years, so I was really shocked. But I did kiss him back. It felt really safe and good again, and I had really missed that feeling. We were lying on the bed, making out, when our father walked into our room. We both jumped up and that bastard just laughed. He said that he and our mother already knew, and that it was the reason why she killed herself. We got into a huge argument, because we knew that that wasn’t true. After fighting for almost an hour, he left again. That’s when we just knew that we had to get away from that place.

A week later we left. We had found a cheap apartment in a small town pretty far away. We drove there with most of our stuff, which we all managed to put into our car. We didn’t have any furniture, but we could buy that later. Our mother had left us quite some money, which she had gotten from her father, so we had enough to survive for a while. We didn’t tell our father that we were leaving, we just left a note. He probably didn’t care anyway.

We both got a job pretty fast. I was a waiter at a restaurant, and Brendon worked at a bookstore. It weren’t the nicest job, but at least we had a job. One day after work we went to a club. There we met two really nice girls, or so we thought. They used fake id’s and got us drinks, and we got pretty drunk. They turned out to be best friends and they kept saying how much they liked us. We were living there for about four months, and they were the first people to actually hang out with us, so we loved their attention. We went back to their apartment and had sex with them. For both of us it was the first time with a girl, but of course we didn’t tell them that. I can’t even remember what else happened that night, I was way too drunk.

The next morning I woke up with a major headache. I quickly put on my clothes and went to the living room. Brendon and the girls were having breakfast, but a soon as he saw me, he stopped eating and looked guilty. I knew exactly how he felt, because I felt the same way. I felt as if I cheated on him or something, which didn’t make sense, because we weren’t really together. Don’t get me wrong, we did everything that normal couples do, but only in our apartment, because everyone knew we’re brothers. The first thing I felt when I saw him sitting there, was guilt, but I quickly felt really jealous. I sat down too, and we had breakfast together. But we all noticed how uncomfortable it was, so we got their numbers and quickly left.

*****************************************************************

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Drawing #24 : Stephen Gately

2009-12-01T11:24:12Z

Drawn on 30/11/09

This doesn't look like Stephen at all, unfortunately =( But at least it looks like a human being =P
♥ R.I.P. Stephen Gately ♥

The Brightest Shining Star

2009-12-01T10:18:46Z

Title : The Brightest Shining Star
Author : Me
Rating : PG
Band : Boyzone
POV : 3rd
Summary : Three months after Stephen's death, the other guys are in the studio to record the new album. But Shane is having a really bad time because he misses his best friend so much.
Disclaimer : Most of this is bullshit that I made up. Sure, some things are real, but most aren't. Unfortunately Stephen's death is real ='(
Author Notes : I had the idea for this fic in my head ever since I saw the interview with Shane, Ronan, Keith and Mikey about Stephen's death, but I couldn't get myself to write it because I got emotional every time I tried. But last night it finally felt right, so I wrote it. I'm sorry of there are any mistakes in it, but I couldn't read it and check it. This is not a slash story by the way, it's just about the friendship between Shane and Stephen.

Shane is sitting in the window, staring at the stars. He lets out a big sigh and looks down at his hand. He sees the Superman tattoo and starts to feel sick again. Under the Superman sign it says 76, the year his best friend was born, and 09, the year his best friend had died. He feels the tears stinging in his eyes and looks out of the window again.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Keith asks. He, Ronan and Mikey are standing in the other room of the studio. There’s a glass wall, so they see their band mate sitting there, looking like hell.

“Of course not.” Ronan sighs.

“Maybe you should go talk to him,” Mikey says, and he looks at Ronan. Ronan nods and goes into the other room.

“Are you okay, man?” he asks, and Shane turns his head, facing him. Ronan sees that he’s fighting against his tears, and it makes him feel really bad.

“I miss him,” Shane says, and Ronan takes a couple of steps towards him.

“We all do.”

“I don’t know why, but tonight… man, it’s… I don’t know…”

“It’s exactly three months ago tonight,” Ronan says, and Shane nods.

“It doesn’t feel right. Us being here to record an album, four of us. He’s supposed to be here,” Shane says, sounding really weak. His nickname is Mr. Cool, but ever since Stephen had died he had changed. He has panic attacks, and he cries all the time.

“Yeah, he is. But he’s gone, and we have to record this album, we owe it to him.”

“I know… I just… I miss him so fucking much. I miss talking to him, laughing with him, singing together, working out together. Fuck, I even miss lying on the couch together after rehearsing for the show, you know? I just miss him around me,” Shane says, sounding angry, but extremely hurt at the same time. Tears are rolling down his face by now, and he gets up out of the window. He walks over to the mirror and puts his hands against the wall, his head down, staring at the floor. He sees his tears falling into the carpet, making the red seem even darker. It makes him really angry, and he feels really dizzy.

“I know, I miss him too, and so do Keith and Mikey…”

“Fuck, it just isn’t right! He should be here!”

“I know…,” Ronan says, not knowing what else to say. Usually he knows exactly what to say, but this situation is just too much, even for him.

“Fuck!” Shane screams, letting all his emotions out. He looks up and punches the mirror. It shatters in pieces, and his hand is bleeding, but he doesn’t even feel it. He just feels the pain of Stephen not being there anymore. Ronan walks up to him and wraps his arms around him. Shane holds his friend really tight, and he just lets himself cry. “I love him so much,” he sobs, and Ronan is now fighting against his own tears too.

“I know, man, we all do. He was an amazing guy, and it isn’t right that he’s gone…,” Ronan says, and he just holds his friend really tightly until he’s calmed down. Then he lets go of him and looks into his eyes. “Come on, let’s go listen to it.”

“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, okay?”

“Of course, take your time.” Ronan faintly smiles, and he leaves the room and goes to the other guys, who had seen everything happen. But they hadn’t heard a single word.

“And?” Keith immediately asks.

“He just misses him.” Ronan sighs, and he turns around and looks at Shane again. They all see him letting himself slide to the floor, with his back against the wall, and it hurts them to see their friend like this.

“Let’s go to another room,” Mikey says, and he and the other guys leave the room.

“Fuck,” Shane whispers to himself. He sees the cuts and blood on his hand, and feels really stupid. He wipes the blood off on his pants, and he pulls his knees up to his chest. He sighs and just closes his eyes. He still remembers the first time he met Stephen. It was at the auditions to be in Boyzone, about sixteen years ago. He was outside, talking to some guys when he saw a short boy stepping out of a small car. He looked really young, and really shy. When he was about to close the door, the woman in the car said something, and the boy leaned down to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Shane couldn’t help but to laugh, because the boy looked so young and so embarrassed that his mother had to bring him. The boy went inside, and Shane continued talking to his friends. When he and all the other guys got together in one room, he saw the boy again. He was standing in the back of the room, holding his backpack clutched to his chest. Shane walked up to him and introduced himself. The boy said his name was Stephen, and that was how they met.

Through all the auditions for Boyzone, he and Stephen had hung out, and they had become pretty good friends. But just when they were at the auditions, outside of it their lives were really different. But eventually they both got into the band with Ronan, Keith and two other guys. They did their first tv appearance, and the two other guys left. Mikey joined the band, and that was the real Boyzone. The way Boyzone is supposed to be, with all five of them.

Shane thinks about the meeting, and he can’t help but to smile. He still sees the dorky short boy getting out of the car, looking like he was the new kid at school or something. Over the years he had changed so much. But at that time he was just another teenager who was finding himself out, and he just so happened to also be really shy. If he hadn’t been that shy, Shane probably wouldn’t even have noticed him, and then they wouldn’t have become best friends.

A couple of months after Boyzone got together, Shane and Stephen had been hanging out in their hotel room. The other three guys shared the other bedroom. Stephen said that he had to tell him something, but that he was afraid that it would ruin their friendship. Of course Shane had said that he could just say it. Even though Stephen thought he was putting their friendship on the line, he told Shane that he was gay. Shane had just laughed, and Stephen looked really hurt. Shane explained that he just was relieved that that was all. He had given him a big hug and said that he didn’t care, that he still was his friend. He was just a bit hurt that Stephen thought that it would ruin their friendship, so he asked him about it. Stephen had said that he was scared because Shane was such a macho and because he always seemed so tough. Shane had thrown a pillow at him and that was that. A couple of days later Shane had helped Stephen to tell it to the other guys. Of course they were all cool with it, and they still were best friends.

When Stephen was pretty much forced to come out a couple of years later, they had all been there for him, and they supported him through all of it. Even when things got bad for a while, because Stephen was just so scared, but also relieved at the time, they had just always been there. Especially Shane. When Stephen was freaking out, he would call Shane, even if it was in the middle of the night, and they would just talk for hours, just to keep his mind off of things.

After the band initially broke up, their friendships all got messed up too. Well, almost all of them. Nothing could ruin Stephen and Shane’s bond. They still hung out all the time, and talked to each other almost every day. When Stephen got married to Andrew a couple of years later, Shane was the only one of the guys that was there. They hardly invited anyone, just close family and friends, but of course Stephen couldn’t get married if his best friend wasn’t there.

Eventually the guys had all started to talk to each other again, and they became friends again. They still didn’t get together as a band, but just as friends. The day after Shane had asked his girlfriend Sheena to marry him, he called Stephen. He said that he had to see him as soon as possible, so Stephen went to England as fast as he could. Shane sat down with him at the kitchen table and looked really serious, so Stephen was really scared. But then Shane told him the great news, that he was getting married. Stephen had been so happy for him, and he gave him a big hug. But then Shane looked serious again.

“I have to ask you something really important,” he had said, and Stephen looked really confused.

“What?” he asked, and Shane had to try really hard to still look serious. “Come on, what?”

“Will you be my best man?” Shane had asked, and Stephen hit his arm.

“I honestly thought something was wrong,” he had laughed.

“So?”

“I would be honoured, but are you sure, because…,” he had said, but Shane had stopped him from talking.

“You’re my best friend, and I want you to be my best man,”

Shane thinks about the conversation and that whole day, and he shakes his head. They had so much fun together. While Sheena was planning everything, Shane and Stephen went to find the perfect clothes to wear. Of course Shane would not wear the clothes that Sheena would like. He chose white pants which were a bit see-through. But of course he had to wear flowered jocks under them. Stephen had laughed his ass off when he first heard about the idea. But when he realized that Shane was serious, he said that Sheena would kill him. Shane said that he’d just blame his best man, and Stephen just sighed and shook his head. It was one of the most fun days they had ever had together.

On the day of the wedding it had been really hectic. At first Shane was really relaxed, but about an hour before the wedding he started to freak out. He was afraid that Sheena wouldn’t show up, or that it would rain and everything would be ruined. Stephen had said that he sounded like a typical girl, and Shane just rolled his eyes. But when they got downstairs, Shane went to the bathroom. Everything was getting filmed for tv, and it was the only place where they wouldn’t go. Stephen followed him into the bathroom, and got something out of his pocket.

“What’s that?” Shane had asked, and he walked up to his best friend. Stephen folded it open and revealed a bright blue stone.

“My sister gave me this stone on the day that I got married, and it brings luck. I don’t know if it works, but I’m still married, so it might,” Stephen had laughed, and he had given the stone to his best friend. “I want you to have it now.”

“No, I can’t…”

“It’s yours now, you deserve all the luck in the world. And you can say what you want, but I won’t take it back,” Stephen had laughed. Shane put the stone in his pocket and gave his best friend a big hug. Of course everything went right that day. Sheena showed up, the weather was great, and all the Boyzone guys had showed up, which meant a lot to him. But what meant even more to him was that Stephen was there.

Boyzone had gotten back together, and they even went on tour and recorded a couple of new songs. They also recorded a live dvd and a documentary. Before it came out they had all watched it together. What they all loved the most was that it really showed their friendship, the love between all of them. Shane’s favourite parts were during ‘And I’, when he and Stephen were sitting together on the stairs. He loved to see his best friend so happy. He loved all of them being happy again for that matter. In the documentary there was a part where they were training for the performances, and there were two things in there that had made them all laugh their ass off. One of them was a shot of Stephen and Shane lying on the couch together, Stephen with his head on Shane’s chest, and Shane holding him really tight. The other was a piece where Stephen had been training, and he was tired, so he stood behind Shane, wrapped his arms around him and hung on his back, with his head on his shoulder. It had made them laugh so much because that was just the typical them. No matter what they did, or where they were, Shane and Stephen were together, and they were really close. At some point people even claimed that there was more going on between them. But that wasn’t true, there was just a lot of love between them, and it was all as best friends, nothing more. They didn’t care what the people said though, they just kept being themselves, and it showed on the dvd.

But then came that night. October 10th 2009. Shane was lying in his bed, trying to sleep when all of the sudden his phone rang. He picked it up and it was Ronan. Ronan was sounding really weird, and Shane just knew that something was wrong. And Ronan just told him, he told him that Stephen had died that night. Shane had felt like he couldn’t breath, and he couldn’t speak. Ronan knew it, and he said that he’d call back later. Shane hung up the phone and threw it across the room. Sheena had woken up too, and she asked him what was wrong. Shane didn’t answer though, he just ran to the bathroom, because he felt that he was getting sick. After it he had splashed water into his face, but he couldn’t get the burning sensation out of his face. He felt like his cheeks were gonna explode, and he honestly thought he was gonna pass out. He had thrown all the stuff off of the shampoo rack, and Sheena came in, looking worried.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” she had asked, but Shane still couldn’t speak. He felt an enormous lump in his throat, and tears were rolling down his face. He just stood there, staring into the nothing. Sheena had walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, but he pushed her away. Not aggressively though, it was more of a reflex to protect himself. After standing there for a couple of minutes, he finally could speak again. Sheena was still looking at him, and she looked extremely worried.

“He’s dead…”

“Who is?”

“Steo, he’s dead,” Shane had managed to get out, and the words hit him again. He felt the tears running down his face again, and Sheena walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. This time he let her, and they stood there for what seemed to be forever.

The rest of that week was all one big blur. The guys had gotten together, and they had flown to Majorca to fly Stephen back home. As soon as they were there, they had gotten the Superman tattoo. They chose that because Stephen had the Superman sign on his chest, and it felt right to get it too out of respect for him. They arranged the funeral, and a week after Stephen had died, the funeral happened. The night before, they stayed at the church so Stephen wouldn’t be alone. It had felt so right, and they all laughed and cried together that night. They had all felt Stephen’s presence there, and Shane had wanted the night to never end. But then it happened, the funeral. Thousands of fans were standing outside the church to pay their last respects to Stephen. It was all so overwhelming, and Shane can’t even remember everything that happened that day. He was still in shock. That week they also decided to continue with Boyzone, just to make one album for Stephen. He had recorded the vocals for two songs already, this they know, but they still haven’t listened to it. So now they’re in the studio, and they’ve already recorded a couple of songs, but they now have to listen to Stephen’s vocals for the other songs.

It’s exactly three months ago that Stephen had died, and as soon as Shane woke up that morning, he had felt sick. Something just wasn’t right. He had never missed anything or anyone that much before, and the pain was just unbearable. He had gotten away from the group as soon as it got dark, and he went to sit on the little bench in the window to look at the stars.

After thinking about all the beautiful memories of his best friend, Shane gets up. He looks out of the window and sees an enormously bright shining star, and he gets chills all over his body. Then he feels a hand on his shoulder, and he turns around. But no one’s there. He looks at the star and realizes that Stephen is with him.

“I love you,” he whispers, and he takes a final look at the star. He turns around and goes to the other guys. Without saying a word, they go into the other room where the music is. Shane feels really dizzy, and he gets chills again, but not in a bad way.

“Are you ready?” Ronan asks, and they all nod. Ronan presses the button, and the music begins. Shane feels weight pressing against his back, arms around his chest, and weight on his shoulder. Then he remembers the feeling, it’s the feeling of Stephen hanging on his back. He gets a small smile on his face, knowing that his best friend is still with him. A couple of seconds later Stephen’s voice blasts out of the speakers, and they all get chills. Shane feels that the arms around his chest tighten, and he looks out of the window. As if they’ve all gotten a sign, they all look out of the window. The bright star now shines even brighter. As the song ends, they all look at each other, and they all know that their best friend will be with them, always, no matter what…

*****************************************************************

a/n: Thanks for reading this. I really am sorry if there are mistakes in it. I just couldn't get myself to read it.
♥ R.I.P. Stephen Gately ♥

A Love Story

2009-12-01T09:58:36Z

Title : A Love Story
Author : Me
Rating : PG
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Will you marry me?
Disclaimer : This will not happen, yes, it is in the future, but I'm pretty sure that it's all fake XD
Beta : Priscilla, who doesn't have an lj
Author Notes : The summary is kinda crappy, obviously, but it's pretty much just a cute little fic about Panic doing an interview and finally revealing the truth. Which of course is that Ryden is real XD

“My next guests are four young guys who had everything. They were in a successful rock band and sold millions of albums. But then they split up in two bands. Bassist Jon and guitarist Ryan began a new band called The Young Veins, and singer Brendon and drummer Spencer continued with the old band. Both of their albums were major flops and they stopped making music. But now, four years later, they’re back together. Here’s an exclusive interview with… Panic At The Disco!” the host of a popular tv-show says, and the audience starts to clap like they’re supposed to.

“Are you ready?” Brendon asks when he hears that they have to go on. The other three guys smile and nod. “Well, then let’s go.” Brendon smiles, and he opens the door of the set. They walk onto the living room like set and shake the host’s hand.

“So, guys, it’s nice to see you.”

“Yeah, thanks for having us.” Spencer smiles, the adrenaline rushing through his veins. They haven’t done an interview or anything together with the four of them in almost five years, so they’re all really nervous and excited.

“You’re back,” the host says, and Brendon laughs.

“Yeah, the old Panic is back, finally.”

“It’s almost five years ago that you split up, right?”

“Right, and then we both put out an album, and they both didn’t sell. So we, well, Panic at least decided to just give it up. And I think it was the same for Jon and Ryan,” Brendon says, and he looks at Jon.

“Yeah, we thought we could make an album that would sell even better than the old Panic albums. But that obviously didn’t work.”

“A lot of people called you ‘pathetic Beatles wannabes’, right?”

“Yeah,” Jon laughs, “that kinda hurt. We were so angry and disappointed, so we just gave up too.”

“Let’s talk about the initial reason for the split up. You said that it was because you wanted to make different kinds of music, but quite recently you’ve admitted on Twitter that that wasn’t the reason. For the people who haven’t heard or read it yet, can you tell us what the reason was?”

“You wanna take this?” Brendon asks Ryan, and Ryan nods, looking really shy all of the sudden.

“Well, Brendon and I, we were really close from the beginning on. But at some point it became more than friendship, and we were really honest about that to each other…,” Ryan says, but then Brendon interrupts him.

“But not to anyone else, it was our little secret.”

“But we also had girlfriends, and we got more famous, so we decided to do nothing with it. It lead to quite some fights, but we got over them for a couple of months.”

“And when the fights began, did the other guys know what was the problem?”

“I thought there was something between them, but whenever I asked them about it they made up some stupid reason, but yeah, we knew there was something, we just didn’t know what.”

“And you’re Ryan’s best friend, right?”

“Yeah, we grew up together, and we’re best friends. But even best friends can have secrets,” Spencer laughs.

“Very true,” the host says, now looking at Ryan again. “You said that you fought for a couple of months, but what happened then?”

“I had just split up with my girlfriend, Keltie, and Brendon had just broken up with his girlfriend too, so at that point we had no excuse to not get together anymore.”

“What about the fans? Were you worried about what they might think?” the host asks, not even realizing how annoying he is because he keeps interrupting them.

“Well, yeah. There were many many fans who wanted us to get together. But there were also fans who wanted us to be the perfect straight guys, preferably without girlfriends. It just, we were really young, and we just felt like it wouldn’t be right to come out as, well, not being straight.”

“You thought you were too young to be gay, or too young because you were confused?”

“Oh, no, I wasn’t confused, and I don’t think Brendon was neither. We just felt like this was too personal to share with everyone, because we were so young, and I don’t know, it just felt like we were too young.”

“You said you had no excuse to not get together anymore, so did you get together?” the host asks, now looking at Brendon.

“No, we didn’t. That was the biggest problem. We really liked each other, I mean, I fell in love with him the day I met him, and it was really intense. But we felt like we couldn’t get together, and one night we both just broke down.”

“Yeah, we just couldn’t do it anymore. Having these feelings, and keeping them a secret, it just was a lot to deal with. Especially since we were really famous, and every time we would go out, there would be pictures of it.”

“That night that Ryan just referred to, I actually remember it very well. We had just gotten offstage, and Ryan punched a hole in the wall, and Brendon started to cry, so then they couldn’t keep saying that it was just about music or something,” Spencer says.

“What else happened that night?”

“We got into a major fight because we were just so sick of lying, and pretending to be different than we were, and we took it out on each other. And that night we decided to just go our separate ways, otherwise we probably would’ve killed each other,” Brendon laughs.

“So the real reason you broke up was because you were in love, didn’t get together and had to keep it a secret?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“But it didn’t seem like you wanted to keep it a secret though. On stage you almost kissed, had speeches about love together, you danced really close. Why did you do that if it had to stay a secret?”

“Hormones,” Brendon laughs.

“We were really drunk one night, it was at Pete’s house, with all the Fueled By Ramen bands, and everyone was making out with each other.” Ryan smiles, remembering that night, “Me and Brendon were kissing, and Pete saw it and said that we should do it on stage, so we said we’d do that. And that’s really how the dry humping and almost kissing got into the show.”

“What did you two think about that?”

“I thought it was funny, kind of risky.” Jon smiles.

“I thought they were nuts, but hey, everyone loved it,” Spencer laughs.

“And then Panic At The Disco was over. What happened after that? Obviously you both made music, but what happened between you as friends?”

“I got into a downwards spiral,” Ryan says, and the host nods.

“You go into drugs, right?”

“Yeah, I wanted to forget about everything, so I drank a lot, during the whole day, did all the drugs I could find, had a different girl every night. I got really depressed,” Ryan says, and Brendon puts his arm around his shoulder, because he sees that it’s tough for Ryan to talk about that time.

“A different girl every night?”

“Yeah, I wanted to prove to everyone that I was the man. But I just lost my friends because of it. Pete gave up on me, I didn’t talk to Brendon anymore, Jon didn’t like me, Spencer was the only one who kept trying to get me out of that bad world I had created around me.”

“But Spencer was in the other band, right?”

“But he’s my best friend, so I couldn’t give up on him,” Spencer says.

“I was still in a band with him, but he, and he knows this, and I’m completely honest about it, he became a terrible person. He did really bad things to everyone, and I couldn’t deal with it. So I just saw him when we were making music,” Jon says, and Ryan looks at him with pain in his eyes.

“I’m really sorry…”

“I know, and it’s all cool now. I still love you,” Jon laughs, and Ryan smiles and shakes his head.

“How did you get out of that depression?”

“After I tried to commit suicide for the third time I finally realized that I had ruined my life. Spence was with me in the hospital, and I pretty much begged him to get help for me. So he brought me to the best clinic ever, and I got off of the drugs and everything. And I had a lot of therapy to get rid of the depression.”

“And now he’s our own Ryan again.” Spencer smiles.

“Did you ever see each other in the four years that you were completely out of the music business?”

“Not really, I mean, I saw Spencer every once in a while, Jon moved, I hadn’t talked to Ryan in a long time, so…”

“Just me and Spence saw each other pretty often.”

“Then how did you get back together?” the host asks, and everyone looks at Brendon.

“I guess I’ll answer that one,” he laughs. “I went to a club, and I saw Ryan there, and I was pretty drunk, so I had the guts to go up to him. We started talking again, and that’s when I realized how much I had actually missed him and the other guys. We agreed to have lunch together the next day, and we did, and we became friends again almost immediately.”

“And when was that?”

“About half a year ago.”

“So you two became friends again, but how did the four of you get together again?”

“Brendon, Spence and me just became friends again, but we all felt that it wasn’t the same without Jon, so we called him up, and he said that he missed us too, so he came back. A couple of weeks later we were best friends again, and it seemed like nothing ever happened,” Ryan says, and he looks at Brendon, who has a small smile on his face. He still has his arm around Ryan’s shoulder, and Ryan doesn’t mind at all.

“When did you decide that you were getting back together as Panic At The Disco?”

“About a month ago, Ryan and Brendon had written lots of new songs in those years, and we decided to put them together and make music again, even if it was just for us. But we really liked it, and we all missed performing on stage, so we agreed to get back together,” Jon says.

“And what’s in the future for you?”

“We’re recording a new album, which will come out in the summer, hopefully. It’ll be fun music, no Beatles wannabes,” Spencer laughs, and Jon playfully pushes him.

“That sounds great, and I’m happy for you that you’re back. But there’s more happy news, right? You two didn’t just get back together as friends,” the host says, looking at Ryan and Brendon.

“You wanna tell?” Brendon asks, looking at Ryan.

“Nah, you tell.”

“Okay,” Brendon laughs. “Well, we’re a couple now.” He smiles, and a slight blush appears on his face.

“How did that happen?”

“Well, we became really good friends again, and we got closer and closer. And we both admitted that we were still in love with each other. But I thought we couldn’t get together anyway, because he was still ‘straight’.”

“You came out as a gay man a while ago, right?”

“Yeah, I did, almost three years ago. Best decision I’ve ever made,” Brendon laughs.

“But you did have girlfriend when you were younger?”

“I did, and I really liked them, but as I grew older, I realized that with guys it just was more natural. It just felt better.”

“So now you’re gay. But you thought you couldn’t get together?” the host says, suddenly remembering what they were actually talking about.

“I did, but one night we were watching tv together, and he got up and went to the kitchen. And he came out with a bowl of popcorn and a red rose. And he asked me to be his boyfriend.” Brendon smiles, and Ryan’s cheeks turn red.

“Our little romantic Ry,” Spencer laughs, and Ryan looks even more embarrassed.

“But to the public you were still straight, right?”

“I was, well, I never claimed to be straight. People just assumed it. But yeah.”

“Why did you now think that you could get together, and five years ago you couldn’t?”

“Like I said, we were really young when we first got famous. We all started as teenagers, and we were the most famous in our early 20’s. Now we’re almost 30, and it just felt as if the time was finally right.”

“And you came out on Twitter last week.”

“I did. I’m now openly what they call ‘confused’,” Ryan laughs, and the host looks confused. “When I said that I don’t want a label on me, I got a lot of comments that I was confused. But I’m not. I just don’t want to call myself bi, straight or gay, I just fall in love with people. I just go with the flow, really.”

“And we have a little surprise for you,” the host says, and Ryan now looks confused. He looks at the other guys, but they’re just smiling, because they know what the surprise is.

“Okay, go for it.” The host smiles, and Brendon gets up off the couch. He gets something out of his pocket, and sits down on one knee. Ryan looks really shocked, and he covers his mouth with his hand. Brendon smiles and takes his other hand.

“Ry, I love you so much, it’s… I don’t even have words for it. You mean the world to me, and I’ve loved you ever since I first saw you. We lost a lot of time by acting like fools, and now I want to do this right. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” he asks, tears forming in his eyes. Ryan is fighting against his tears too, and he’s really shocked and doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, but then he gets a huge smile on his face.

“Of course.” He smiles, and he kisses Brendon. Brendon is still holding his hand and gets the ring out of the small box. He puts it around Ryan’s finger, and it fits perfectly. He gets up, and so does Ryan. The wrap their arms around each other and give each other a long kiss. Spencer, Jon and the audience are clapping, but they don’t even notice it, they’re just in their world for a couple of seconds. But then the get back, and the stop kissing.

“I love you.” Brendon smiles, a tear rolling down his face.

“I love you too.” Ryan smiles, and he gives him another kiss.

“And there you have it people. Panic At The Disco is back…”

*********************************************************

a/n: I know, not very spectacular or interesting, but whatever =P I got bored, got the idea for this, and an hour later it was written =P

Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (4/8)

2009-11-30T11:15:49Z

Title : Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love
Author : Me
Rating : R
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : Ryan's
Summary : I know there’s a chance that our family or friends might read this. It isn’t like the people we know don't buy this magazine. If they read this and think that I’ve written it, they shouldn’t bother asking me about it. I won’t admit it anyway. I use names, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe this will freak you out, maybe you’ll hate me, maybe you won’t. Either way, here’s my story.
Here's Ryan's story about the relationship between him and his brother, Brendon.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : This chapter seems to be a bit longer again. But it sucks, so I'm sorry XD

After finishing our breakfast, Brendon went for a walk. I was kind of happy about it, because I needed some time alone, just to think about stuff and to deal with it. I laid down on the picnic blanket and closed my eyes. All of the sudden I felt someone unzipping my pants. I opened my eyes and saw Brendon sitting there with a big smile on his face. He slid down my pants and started to kiss my hips. Before I knew it, he had his mouth around me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I kept going with my hands through his hair, and it all felt so good. I actually thought I was gonna pass out. When I came, I let out a loud scream. It wasn’t just the pleasure, but also a release for all the pain and problems in our life. I was completely out of breath and started to cry. Brendon moved up and held me really tight. I kissed him and apologized.

That night, after having a boring day, we were lying in the grass, looking at the stars again. It was really romantic, and I was really happy. But then it started to rain. We probably should’ve gone into the tent, but we didn’t. We were soaking wet when Brendon all of the sudden started to kiss me. He rolled on top of me and went with his hand through my wet hair. By that time we were covered in mud, but we didn’t care. Before I knew it, we were rolling through the mud, still making out, very roughly, but in a good way. He kept kissing and biting my neck and I pulled his hair. We probably were so rough because we were frustrated, and it was a relieve of emotions.

“Fuck me,” I all of the sudden said, and he stopped kissing me.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes, I want you to fuck me, hard,” I said, and he smiled. But then he looked sad and said that we needed lube. I didn’t want to wait ‘till we’d be home again, so I told him to use his spit, and he did. It was really cold, but we got out of our clothes anyway. We knew we’d be warm again when we were having sex anyway. And a couple of minutes later we were doing it, in the pouring rain, covered in mud. It might sound weird, but I couldn’t have wished for a more romantic first time. I loved it.

After we had sex, we went to the tent. We were covered in mud, but we couldn’t go to the lake to clean up, because it was too cold. So we quickly got into Brendon’s sleeping bag. He asked me if was okay, and I didn’t say anything. I just smiled and kissed him. It didn’t take long ‘till we fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was kind of sore, but I had expected it to be worse. Brendon was still asleep, and he looked really peaceful. I couldn’t help but to smile and just looked at him ‘till he woke up. When he woke up about fifteen minutes later, he immediately smiled and kissed me. We were looking disgusting, and I couldn’t help but to laugh about it. It was almost noon and the sun was shining, so we got out of the tent and went to the lake. We were still the only ones there, so we could just walk around naked. I was washing myself when my brother all of the sudden pushed me in the water. He jumped in too and we helped each other getting cleaned up.

That afternoon our mother called. We had to go home, because our grandfather had died. We had only met him once, when we were four, so we didn’t really care. But we went home anyway, because we didn’t feel like fighting with out parents. On the way home, we didn’t say a word, we just held hands. We knew that things would be different again as soon as we’d be home, and we both hated it.

*****************************************************************

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Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (3/8)

2009-11-28T09:14:54Z

Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (2/8)

2009-11-25T11:08:53Z

Title : Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love
Author : Me
Rating : R
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : Ryan's
Summary : I know there’s a chance that our family or friends might read this. It isn’t like the people we know don't buy this magazine. If they read this and think that I’ve written it, they shouldn’t bother asking me about it. I won’t admit it anyway. I use names, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe this will freak you out, maybe you’ll hate me, maybe you won’t. Either way, here’s my story.
Here's Ryan's story about the relationship between him and his brother, Brendon.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : Thank you all for your awesome comments <3 More a/n at the end of the chapter.

It wasn’t until a year later when something happened again. Our parents were fighting more and more, and we just wanted to get away from them, so we went camping together. It was winter, so we knew that we’d probably be the only people there, which we really liked. Our mother didn’t want us to go, but we didn’t care, we just wanted to get away from everything and everyone, except for each other.

The morning we’d leave, our parents got into a huge fight. Their fights were always about our father’s cheating, or our mother’s drinking. Brendon and I were packing our bags when all of the sudden we heard our mother screaming. We ran to the living room and saw her standing there with a bloody lip. The front door was open, so we knew that our father was gone. We didn’t help our mother though. Our father wasn’t violent, so when he did hit her, she deserved it. Especially when she was drunk she became unreasonable. We went back upstairs and packed our last stuff. We left a note for them, but left without saying a word.

When we got to the camping site, no one was there. We got out of the car and immediately started to put up the tent, which was a disaster. But eventually it was up and it actually looked safe. I didn’t feel good though, because of the home situation, so when Brendon was making dinner, I went for a walk. I did it to clear my mind, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t stop thinking about Brendon and what had happened a year before. We had never talked about it, so I didn’t even know how he felt about it. All I knew was that I wanted it to happen again.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when I was back. I sat down next to him on the picnic blanket and sighed.

“Do you ever think about last year?” I asked, but I didn’t face him, I was too scared.

“You mean what we did?”

“Yeah…”

“All the time.” He admitted, and I faced him.

“Me too,” I said. He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me on my cheeks and got up. I was really disappointed and thought that it meant that he did thing about it, but got over it. He saw how sad I looked and laughed.

“I just don’t want dinner to get cold,” he said, and I could see the twinkle in his eyes.

That night we were lying on the good of the car, looking at the stars. But all of the sudden Brendon leaned over me and he brushed the hair out of my face. I could feel his warm breath on my face, and my heart went absolutely crazy. He smiled and kissed me. Of course I kissed him back right away, because this was what I had been waiting for for so long. He put his hand under my shirt, on my stomach, and he kept kissing me. I felt his fingers burning on my skin, and I started shaking. Brendon stopped kissing me and looked worried.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

“No, I’m just… I love you.”

“And I love you, but tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” he said, and I finally felt loved. He actually cared about my feelings.

“I don’t want you to stop.” I smiled and I kissed him. I started to feel a bit weird, because, there we were, two brothers, making out on the hood of a car. I had actually just gotten my first kiss from my twin. But I managed to ignore those feelings, and we kept kissing for a while.

*****************************************************

a/n: I made a Twitter account, yeah I already had one, but that's more for my family and stuff, this one is for this LJ account =P On there I'll say when I'm writing something new, when I post a new chapter, or other stuff that has to do with this. It sounds kind of crappy, but if you follow me, you'll pretty much just see what I'm up to when it comes to my fics. And since SATD is kinda slow with posting, on my twitter you can see when I post a new chapter, so you won't have to check SATD for it =P Okay, that sounds totally arrogant, and I don't mean it like that. I just made it for the people that do want to know about my new fics or something. Okay, I'm rambling XD It is protected, so you need to follow me, I only do that so my family or something won't see it =P Okay, here it is : http://twitter.com/TimeToDance0110 And yes, I know that it's pink, but that's because it fits the best with my lj layout XD And on twitter you can just easily ask me questions or something about my fics, and it's just easier to communicate on twitter than on lj, I think. And just, blah, follow me or something, and seriously, I'll stop talking now XD Oh, but if you do follow me, please don't stop leaving comments here on lj XD

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Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love (1/8)

2009-11-23T11:31:10Z

Title : Love Me For A Reason, Let The Reason Be Love
Author : Me
Rating : R
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : Ryan's
Summary : I know there’s a chance that our family or friends might read this. It isn’t like the people we know don't buy this magazine. If they read this and think that I’ve written it, they shouldn’t bother asking me about it. I won’t admit it anyway. I use names, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe this will freak you out, maybe you’ll hate me, maybe you won’t. Either way, here’s my story.
Here's Ryan's story about the relationship between him and his brother, Brendon.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : First of all, I'm warning you, this IS a fic about Brendon and Ryan being brothers, and about them being together. And if you don't want to read something like that, don't read this fic. Okay, now you can't say that I didn't warn you =P
This is just a little fic that I wrote when I was bored for a couple of days. It are 8 pretty short chapters. And I don't know, I hope you like it =D

I know there’s a chance that our family or friends might read this. It isn’t like the people we know don't buy this magazine. If they read this and think that I’ve written it, they shouldn’t bother asking me about it. I won’t admit it anyway. I use names, maybe they’re real, maybe they’re not. Maybe this will freak you out, maybe you’ll hate me, maybe you won’t. Either way, here’s my story.

Brendon, my twin brother, and I were fifteen when it first happened. Our parents were at some high school reunion far away. It was the first time they let us stay home alone. Before that, we always had to stay at our grandparents. We had just turned fifteen and we felt really cool. Finally no parents around. We didn’t really know what to do, so we just watched tv. I don’t remember what we watched though, all I remember is that I hated it. I said that I was bored and that I was going to bed. He said that we’d watch something else, he didn’t want me to leave him alone, because that would be no fun. So I stayed. He quickly changed the channel, and we watched some show about celebrities. But after that had ended, porn came on. We both didn’t say anything and just kept watching it. But when there was a scene where the girl was jerking the guy off, Brendon turned to face me.

“Do you like that?” he asked.

“Mhm,” I said, slightly embarrassed.

“Does it turn you on?”

“Yeah.” I admitted, and I felt my cheeks turning red.

“Me too.” He smiled, and he put his hand on my upper leg. He moved closer to me, and we kept watching the movie. Maybe it was wrong, but at the time it just felt right. We were both wearing pyjama pants, so we could see how much we both liked it. It didn’t take long ‘till we were jerking each other off. We both didn’t say a word, we just kept staring into each other’s eyes. After it we just went to bed.

We shared a bedroom, so the first thing I always saw when I woke up was my brother. It was the same the next morning. I opened my eyes and saw him, but he was already awake. The covers had fallen off his bed, and he was naked and playing with himself. He probably thought I was still asleep, because he didn’t stop. His eyes were closed, and I thought he looked really sexy. At that point I didn’t care if he was my brother or not, I just wanted him. I quietly got up and walked over to his bed. I sat down at the end of his bed and moved his hand away. That’s when he opened his eyes. He looked surprised, but not in a bad way. When I put my mouth around him, he closed his eyes again. I had never done it before, but he seemed to like it. His moaning really turned me on, so I put my hand in my pants and took care of myself too. When we were done, I went to the bathroom to take a shower. We both didn’t say a word, because it probably would’ve ruined the moment.

“Are you okay?” he asked me when I walked into the kitchen. He was only wearing boxers and he looked really happy. The kitchen smelled really nice and I walked over to see what he was making. I got a big smile on my face when I saw that he was making my favourite food, pancakes with chocolate and bananas.

“I’m okay, you?”

“I’m better than okay,” he laughed. I gave him a kiss on his cheek and sat down at the kitchen table. That’s when it started to hit me that I was actually attracted to my brother. But I didn’t have long to think about it, because our parents came home. I was scared that they would notice something, but they were too busy fighting to even notice that we were home.

*********************************************************

a/n: Okay, I hope you liked the first chapter. Please let me know what you think =D

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Teach Me How To Love (11/11)

2009-11-16T09:09:59Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : I'm so sorry that this is too late, but my laptop was being a bitch =( Anyway, the final chapter =D I hope you like it =D

The next morning, after having a really romantic breakfast in bed, they get dressed and go downstairs. Kitty is sitting in the corner of the room, looking really sad. Brendon goes up to her, grabs her and puts her on his shoulder.

“Kitty, we’re moving.” He grins, and he gives her a kiss on her head. She lays her head down on his shoulder and closes her eyes. Ryan looks at them and can’t help but to get a huge smile on his face.

“You two are just too adorable,” he says, and Brendon turns around.

“Thank you.” Brendon smiles, and Ryan sees the happiness in his eyes again.

“Sit down, I want to talk,” Ryan says, and he and Brendon sit down on the couch. Kitty climbs off of Brendon’s shoulder and lies down next to him.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I just… You’ve changed so much in the last couple of years. You seem so much happier. You went from being this happy teenager with one good friend, to a really quiet teenager who didn’t talk to anyone but me, and now you’re just so happy.”

“And?” Brendon laughs.

“It makes me really happy.” Ryan smiles and he grabs Brendon’s hand.

“I finally feel like I can be me, like everything will work out. You make me feel safe.”

“I know, this sounds really cheesy, but you’ve really changed me, I’m happier now too.”

“Sometimes it’s good to be a bit cheesy, right?” Brendon smiles and he kisses Ryan.

“Come on, let’s go to your parents,” Ryan says. As much as they love to tell each other about how they feel, it feels a bit awkward when it sounds so cheesy.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with.” Brendon rolls his eyes. “Can she stay here?” he asks, and he points at Kitty.

“Of course.” Ryan smiles, and he gets up. Fifteen minutes later they stop in front of Brendon’s house, and Brendon quickly goes inside.

“I’m moving out. I’m now getting my stuff, and you won’t hear from me again,” he says to his parents, who are sitting in the living room.

“Okay,” his father says, and his mother looks at her hands. Brendon sighs and goes to his room. About half an hour later he has packed everything and he’s bringing the boxes downstairs. When everything is standing in the hallway, he goes outside to get Ryan.

“You okay?” Ryan asks as they walk to the house to get the boxes. Brendon just shakes his head and opens the door. They quickly grab the boxes and put them in the car. But before Brendon leaves, he goes into the living room.

“Goodbye,” he says. But his parents don’t even look up. He gets tears in his eyes and goes to the hallway, where Ryan is standing. Ryan grabs his hand and they quickly go to the car.

“I got someone to sell the house for me, so we can leave in two days,” Ryan says as they’re driving to his house.

“That’s awesome.” Brendon smiles. It hurts that his parents acted the way they did, but he just wants to forget them and forget their problems. It’s all in the past.

Two days later they’re putting all the stuff that they’re taking with them in the minivan. They had packed all their stuff, and actually can take most of it with them. They only have to throw some books and stuff away. Brendon just has to post one final blog before they leave, and then he puts his laptop in the minivan too. Ryan knew about the blog, but Brendon wouldn’t let him read it, and Ryan accepted it, because it was so much like a diary.

“Are you ready?” Ryan asks as he’s standing in the doorway. Brendon is standing in the hallway with tears in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit emotional, that’s all,” Brendon says. Ryan walks up to him and stands behind him. He wraps his arms around him and holds him really tight.

“I love you,” he whispers into Brendon’s ear and Brendon turns around.

“I love you too.” He smiles. “Let’s do this,” he says, and they go outside. Ryan locks the door behind them and sighs. He grabs Brendon’s hand and they go to the car.

“Are you a hundred percent sure about this?” Ryan asks when they’re about to drive away. He doesn’t want Brendon to regret moving away from everything and everyone.

“Definitely. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where I live.” Brendon smiles, and he grabs Ryan’s hand. Kitty is sleeping in his lap, and she looks really peaceful. Ryan sees the twinkle in Brendon’s eyes again and he gets a huge smile on his face. He leans over to him and gives him a kiss. Ryan starts the car and they drive away, to wherever they feel like going.

Brendon’s final blog :

A couple of days ago I wrote about moving in with R. Today is the day we’re actually leaving. I’m really nervous, but in the best way possible. I have never felt so safe before, I always feel like R will protect me from everything that can hurt me. I feel so grown up right now. This year has been the best / worst / weirdest year ever. I lost Michael, I fucked up at school, I became depressed, R got fired, R and I became friends, I came out to my parents, R and I became a couple, I’m actually moving in with my boyfriend. It’s all so weird, but so amazing. I’ve never been this happy before. I needed this blog to deal with things in a normal and positive way. You have read about my feelings, my fears, my mistakes, and you know everything about R. Now I finally don’t need this blog anymore. I now have R. He’s downstairs now, waiting for me. We’re really leaving now. This was it. We’re off to start a whole new life, together, our own adventure…

-xxx- B.

***********************************************

a/n: Okay, I hate the ending XD But thanks for reading anyway =D I'll start posting my new fic next week or something =D

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Teach Me How To Love (10/11)

2009-11-11T15:55:57Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : It's almost over =O It seems like I only just yesterday started posting this fic, and now it's almost over already, damn XD

“How could I possibly hate you?” Ryan asks. He rolls off of Brendon and sits down next to him. Brendon sits up and looks sad.

“They’re hideous.”

“What happened?”

“My parents sometimes hit me…”

“That leaves bruises, but not scars like this,” Ryan says. Brendon feels like his biggest secret is about to come out and he pulls his knees to his chest. He can’t lie to Ryan and decides to tell him the truth. The one thing that no one knows, it isn’t even on his blog.

“It started just after Michael died. I ehm, I got really depressed, because I had no one to talk to. And I just, I needed a way to deal with the pain.”

“So you started to cut yourself?”

“Yeah. And I know that it’s stupid, that I should’ve come to you. But you were my teacher, and I didn’t want the other teachers to know.”

“I’m so sorry Brendon,” Ryan says and he kisses him. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t talk to me back then, but I’m here for you now. Please never do this to yourself again, I’m begging you.”

“I promise I won’t. And I’m sorry for making myself hideous.”

“Brendon, you are beautiful. I don’t care about your scars, you’re amazing. I love you so much, and whatever you did, you did, but it’s all in the past.”

“So you still want me?”

“Of course, lay down.” Ryan smiles. Brendon lays down and he holds his hands and arms over the scars on his stomach and chest. Ryan sits down on top of him and moves Brendon’s arms away. He puts them to the side, so Brendon’s scars are exposed. Brendon looks terrified, but Ryan smiles. He kisses Brendon’s neck and kisses him lower and lower, until he reaches the scars.

“Do you trust me completely?” Ryan asks, and Brendon nods. Ryan smiles at him and grabs his hand. He starts to kiss his skin again, but the scars too this time. He slowly kisses each scar, and he feels that Brendon is holding his hand tighter whenever he kisses a scar. When he has kissed all of them, he moves up again and he kisses him. Brendon kisses him back immediately and he holds him really tight.

“I love you,” he whispers in Ryan’s ear. They look deep into each other’s eyes and both feel completely safe.

“Move in with me,” Ryan all of the sudden says. They’re lying on the bed, both naked, holding each other really tight. They’ve just had sex for the first time, and now they’re just lying there, because they’re both really tired. But that’s also because of how emotional this day has been so far.

“What?” Brendon asks and he looks up into Ryan’s eyes.

“Move in with me.” Ryan repeats. He’s shocked that he just asked him, but it isn’t like he hadn’t thought of it before.

“You really want me to move in with you?” Brendon asks, looking really surprised.

“Well, we’re pretty serious about, well, us. And I’ve thought about before, and especially now I know that your parents hit you, I don’t want you to live with them.”

“So it’s just because you want me to not live with them?”

“No, of course not. Because I love you so much, and yes, I want to protect you from them, but it’s mostly because I love you, and I want to live together. You’re eighteen now, so we can actually be a couple now.”

“But we still have to keep it a secret.” Brendon sighs.

“We’ll move.”

“To where?”

“I don’t know. We’ll just put our stuff in the van and just drive anywhere we feel like. We’ll start a whole new life there.”

“Are you serious?” Brendon smiles and Ryan sees the twinkle in his eyes.

“Yes. Do you want to move in with me?”

“Definitely.” Brendon grins and he gives his boyfriend a kiss.

“When do you wanna move in here? Well, sort of, because we’re leaving anyway.”

“Tomorrow.” Brendon grins. Ryan laughs and gives him a kiss on his nose.

“Then tomorrow morning I’ll bring you home and we’ll get your stuff, okay?”

“Awesome.” Brendon smiles, and Ryan feels that he holds him tighter. He has noticed that Brendon has become so much happier since they were friends, and it makes him feel really good.

“Your parents will kill me,” Ryan laughs.

“Nah they won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s a sin,” Brendon laughs.

**********************************************************************

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Drawing #23 : Hello Kitty - Boyzone

2009-11-10T22:17:10Z

Drawn on 10/11/09

This is supposed to be Boyzone from their first appearance on tv back in '93 XD I know, Mikey wasn't in the band back then, but I couldn't let him out of it. I know, Stephen's shirt was white. I know, Keith's pants were white. I know, their hair looks terrible. I know, I'm rambling. But fuck it, I loved to draw this one. R.I.P. Stephen Gately ='(

Teach Me How To Love (9/11)

2009-11-09T08:44:01Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : Thanks for your comments =D I checked it, and Kitty is in this chapter again =P

On the morning of his birthday, Brendon wakes up at 6am. He grabs his phone and sees that he has a text message from Ryan.

Happy bday, love you, good luck with your parents <3 Ry

Brendon gets a huge smile on his face and gets out of bed. He gets Kitty out of her cage and puts her on his bed, where she lies down immediately. Brendon quickly takes a shower and gets dressed. He puts on his nicest dark blue skinny jeans and a bright red tight v-neck t-shirt. When he gets out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, it’s almost 7. He wants to turn on his laptop, but someone knocks on the door.

“Come in,” he says, and a second later his parents walk into his room.

“Happy birthday honey.” His mother smiles. But it isn’t a nice motherly smile, it’s a cold polite smile that makes Brendon want to scream his heart out.

“Thanks.” He fakes a smile and his father walks up to him. He shakes his hand and gives him a pat on the back.

“Happy birthday son.”

“Thanks. Please sit down, there’s something I have to tell you,” he says and his parents sit down on the bed. Kitty looks annoyed and hops off of the bed and lies down in the corner of the room. Brendon sees it and can’t help but to smile. It also makes him feel like there’s someone to support him. He stands in front of his parents and lets out a big sigh.

“What is it?” his mother asks, and Brendon decides to just say it.

“I’m gay.”

“What? A homosexual you mean?” his mother asks and she looks grossed out.

“Yes mom, I’m a homosexual. I like guys,” Brendon says. He feels how his face is turning red and is heartbeat is going nuts. His mother lets herself fall to the ground and starts to cry.

“Oh god, what did I do to deserve this!” she cries out, and Brendon closes his eyes and sighs. His father gets up from the bed and walks up to Brendon.

“You’re sick, you know that? You’ll go to hell, and you’ll burn for all eternity. And you deserve it,” he says and his punches Brendon in the stomach. Brendon gets tears in his eyes and looks at Kitty, who looks really scared. Probably because of the screaming of Brendon’s mother. His father goes up to her and helps her to get up and they leave the room. When Brendon closes the door behind them, he still hears her crying and screaming.

“Oh, Kitty, this was a mistake,” he says as he wipes the tears off his cheeks. He grabs her little portable cage and puts her in there. He closes the cage, grabs his phone and keys and gets out of his room. He makes sure to lock the door and then storms out of the house.

When Ryan opens the door, he has a huge smile on his face. But when he sees Brendon standing there, crying, he stops smiling. He lets Brendon come in and closes the door behind him. Brendon puts Kitty on the stairs and Ryan wraps his arms around him.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ryan whispers, but Brendon holds him really tight and start to cry even worse. He doesn’t even try to stop it and just let himself cry. He hasn’t cried this much since Michael died. When Brendon finally stops crying, Ryan lets go of him.

“Let’s go to the living room,” he says and he wraps an arm around Brendon’s shoulder. With his other hand he grabs Kitty’s cage. They sit down on the couch and Ryan lets Kitty out of her cage, on the floor. She hops away, to the kitchen, where Ryan has put her food for when Brendon brings her along.

“I’m sorry,” Brendon says, because he’s so embarrassed.

”Don’t worry Bren, I’m always here for you. What happened?”

“Mom started to ask God what she did to deserve it, and dad said that I deserve to burn in hell and that sort of stuff,” Brendon says, trying not to cry. Ryan holds his hand really tight and sighs.

“You do not deserve that, you do know that, right? You’re an amazing person, and there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I know that, but it hurts so fucking much. I might hate them, but they’re still my parents, you know?”

“I know, and I’m so sorry that they reacted the way they did. I don’t really know what to say.”

“It’s okay, just… I just need you right now. Please hold me,” Brendon says, and Ryan wraps his arms around him and he holds him really tight.

“Can we go upstairs?” Brendon asks after about half an hour. Ryan lets go of him and smiles.

“You mean…?” he asks and Brendon nods. They get up, still holding hands, and they go to Ryan’s bedroom. They start to kiss right away, and they walk over to the bed. They fall on it, Ryan on top of Brendon.

“Are you sure about this?” Ryan asks.

“Definitely.” Brendon smiles, and he kisses Ryan again. They keep kissing, and in the meanwhile, Brendon is unbuttoning Ryan’s blouse and slides it off of his shoulders. Ryan smiles and stops kissing him. He takes off Brendon’s shirt, but he’s shocked when he sees Brendon’s skin.

“Oh my god…,” he says and he carefully touches the bruises and the scars. He gets tears in his eyes and shakes his head.

“Do you hate me now?” Brendon asks and Ryan looks shocked.

**********************************************************************

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Teach Me How To Love (8/11)

2009-11-07T11:16:14Z

Teach Me How To Love (7/11)

2009-11-04T10:09:04Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : This chapter is kinda boring, sorry =P

“I do like you, but this is sort of illegal,” Ryan says.

“You’re not my teacher anymore.”

“No, but I’m still 25 and you’re still 17.”

“We can keep it a secret, right?” Brendon asks. But when Ryan doesn’t say anything, he goes with his hands through his hair and with his fingers over his neck. “I’ve liked you for the last two years. As in, really liking.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Brendon smiles. “And you like me too, right? In that way.”

“Yeah…” Ryan admits. Brendon smiles and kisses him again.

“Then we’re keeping this a secret, but it’s happening,” Brendon laughs. Ryan puts his hands on Brendon’s lower back and pulls him closer. He smiles and starts kissing him again.

After kissing for quite some time, Brendon’s phone rings. He sighs and gets off of Ryan’s lap.

“What?” he asks when he picks up the phone. “Fine, I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” he says and he hangs up.

“Your parents?”

“Yeah, they want me to come home.” Brendon rolls his eyes. Ryan walks up to him and gives him a long kiss.

“Then go home.”

“I don’t want to, I want to stay here with you.”

“Brendon, go home.”

“Fine.” He sighs and he walks over to Kitty, who’s still lying on the couch. He puts her in her little cage and he and Ryan walk to the front door. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Ryan says and he gives him a quick kiss.

When Brendon walks into the living room, his father and mother are talking about the people from the church. Brendon sighs and has to try hard to not say anything bitchy.

“Oh, hey Brendon, how was school?” his mother asks.

“It was just like any other day.”

“Where were you after school?” his father asks, not looking happy.

“I was at a friend’s place,” he says and he quickly goes to his room. He puts Kitty on the bed and lies down next to her. And before he knows it, they’re both asleep.

He wakes up pretty early the next morning, probably because he fell asleep so early the night before. Kitty is sleeping next to his head, on the pillow. Brendon smiles and gives her a kiss on her head. She opens her eyes and yawns. Brendon thought it was one of the most adorable things ever, a yawning bunny, because you saw the small teeth and it just looked really cute. He carefully gets up so she can stay on his pillow. He turns on his laptop and writes a blog about what happened the day before. After that he just writes for a couple of hours.

But around noon, he puts Kitty in her cage and he goes downstairs. He makes a grilled cheese and takes it up to his room. His parents aren’t home, but he doesn’t know where they are. He eats his food and quickly changes his clothes. He runs downstairs and goes to Ryan’s house.

“Oh, hey Brendon,” Ryan says when he opens the door. Brendon has a huge smile on his face, but Ryan doesn’t seem too happy.

“Can I come in?”

“Ehm, sure…,” Ryan says, and Brendon goes inside and closes the door behind him.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as they go to the living room.

“About yesterday…”

“What about it?” Brendon smirks and he walks up to him. He puts his hands on Ryan’s hips and wants to kiss him, but Ryan grabs his hands and pushes them away.

“It can never happen again.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because you’re a kid Brendon.”

“I’m almost eighteen, then it’s legal anyway.”

“Everyone already thinks I raped someone, I don’t need them to think that I’m doing another teenager too.”

“Why do you care so much about what other people think?” Brendon says, his voice full of pain.

“I’m sorry, but it can’t happen again. And I don’t think it’s a good idea if we keep seeing each other,” Ryan says, staring at the floor. Brendon sees that it hurts him too, but he can’t do anything about it. He tries to blink his tears away, but one rolls down his cheek.

“Fine, if you don’t want to see me anymore then there’s nothing I can do about that.”

“I’m sorry,” Ryan whispers. Brendon gives him a kiss on his cheek and sighs.

“Bye sir,” he says and he leaves. When Ryan hears the door closing he sits down on the couch and starts to cry. The first time he’s really in love, and then this happens.

**********************************************************************

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Teach Me How To Love (6/11)

2009-11-02T09:31:21Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : Whoohoo, new chapter XD

Ryan leads Brendon to the living room. It’s nothing like Brendon had imagined it would be. The walls are lavender and everywhere are hanging old records and old posters.

“Sit down. Do you want something to drink?”

“Ehm, okay.”

“Water, coke, ice tea?”

“Water’s fine,” Brendon says as he sits down. Ryan walks to the kitchen and not even a minute later he’s back. He gives the glass to Brendon and sits down next to him.

“Is something wrong?” Ryan asks.

“No, I just, I sort of miss talking to you. I don’t have any friends, I don’t talk to my parents, and school is hell.”

“I miss talking to you too Brendon, but… you’re not supposed to be here.”

“Can’t we be friends?”

“I don’t know, I’m almost ten years older.”

“So? If you don’t like me, just say so, if you do like me and want to be my friend, I’m not going anywhere. Fuck what other people might think,” Brendon says. Ryan gets a smile on his face.

“Then you’re staying,” he laughs. Two hours later they’re still talking.

“I hate Caitlin,” Brendon all of the sudden says.

“Me too,” Ryan laughs.

“She’s just so annoying.”

“I know, now I know why I don’t like girls,” Ryan laughs and Brendon looks surprised.

“You’re gay?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know? I really thought you knew.”

“No, I didn’t. But I don’t mind.”

“Good.” Ryan smiles.

“I’m not that into girls neither.” Brendon admits.

“Really?”

“Uhuh,” Brendon says and Ryan’s smile just becomes bigger. Brendon sort of hopes that it is because he likes him. But he also thinks that it’s probably just because he doesn’t know what to say.

Almost an hour later Brendon has to go home, so Ryan walks him to the door.

“Is it okay if I come by more often?”

“Of course.” Ryan smiles. Brendon feels a bit awkward, but he gives Ryan a hug. Ryan hugs him back and it’s quite a long hug. When they let go, Brendon quickly leaves.

In the next two months they become really good friends. But of course Brendon doesn’t tell anyone, he just puts it on his blog. He’s becoming happier and he actually doesn’t care anymore about what his parents say. Today they’ll find out if Ryan is guilty or not, or well, if the police thinks he’s guilty or not.

After school Brendon quickly goes home to get Kitty. He had started to take her with him two weeks ago and Ryan absolutely loved her. He runs into the house and up the stairs. He opens the door, quickly grabs Kitty and puts her in her special sort of portable cage. And not even ten minutes later they’re at Ryan’s place. Brendon knocks on the door and Ryan opens it with a smile on his face.

“And?”

“Not guilty.” He smiles and Brendon comes inside. He puts Kitty’s cage on the floor and gives Ryan a big hug. He grabs Kitty again and they go into the living room. He gets Kitty out of the cage and puts her on the couch that they never sit on anyway.

“Want something to drink?” Ryan asks.

“I’ll get it, what do you want?”

“Nothing, thanks,” Ryan says and he sits down. About a minute later Brendon comes back, but without a glass or anything. He walks up to Ryan and sits down on his lap, with a leg on both sides of him.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asks, his face and neck turning red.

“This.” Brendon smirks and he kisses Ryan. Ryan is shocked but he kisses him back right away. He puts his hands on Brendon’s ass and his face turns even redder when he notices how much he likes it.

“This is a bad idea,” Ryan says when they stop kissing. Brendon shakes his head and licks his lips. He gives Ryan a long kiss and wraps his arms around his neck.

“You don’t like me?” he asks when he stops kissing him. Ryan looks away and he looks sad.

**************************************************************

a/n: Thanks for reading =D I posted the summary of the fic I'll start posting after this one =D It's on my list of fics, drabbles and drawings thingy. It's not the fic yet, just the summary =P And that's the newest when it comes to posting, but when it comes to writing, I finished writing that one, and another one, and I'm writing a new one XD Yeah, I really don't have a life and got nothing better to do XD

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Teach Me How To Love (5/11)

2009-10-30T09:00:44Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : Forget the Monday and Friday thing XD I'll explain at the end of the chapter =P

For the next two weeks Brendon gets yelled at every day about the magazine. But somehow he manages to convince his parents that it was a mistake from the company. Of course he’s still a subscriber. Today is Ryan’s last day at their school. The headmaster hadn’t figured it out and he would call the cops this afternoon.

When Brendon gets to school, everyone is talking about Ryan. They had stopped talking about Brendon, well, it had gotten less. Brendon wants to go to Ryan right away, but he has to wait for 5 more hours.

Ten minutes before Ryan’s class, Brendon runs to his classroom. He runs inside and tries to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” Ryan laughs. Brendon nods and smiles.

“I just didn’t wanna be late,” he laughs.

“Wow, your last class was that boring, huh?”

“No, but this one is that much fun.” Brendon smirks. Ryan gets up and closes the door, because he knows that no one else is gonna show up.

“For the last two weeks we’ve just been talking, you’re gonna fail on your test.”

“I don’t care.”

“So how’s the situation with your parents now? Are they still bugging you about being the perfect guy?”

“Yeah, now it’s even worse, because they found out that I have a subscription to a magazine that they don’t exactly like,” Brendon laughs.

“Playboy?”

“Something like that,” Brendon says, because he doesn’t wanna tell him yet that he’s gay. They’re finally becoming more like friends, he doesn’t wanna ruin it.

“You’re what? Seventeen? Then it’s not that weird to have the Playboy,” Ryan laughs.

“Did you have it?”

“Ehm, no…”

“Right,” Brendon laughs. “I can’t believe I’m talking to my teacher about the Playboy.”

“In about 55 minutes I’m not your teacher anymore.”

“Which sucks. Now we’ll get some old lady who has weird names for a dick.” Brendon rolls his eyes and Ryan starts to laughs.

“I’m sure you’ll like Ms. Lennard.”

“Yeah right. But I can never like her as much as I like you. You’re like the coolest teacher I’ve ever had. I don’t even see you as a teacher.” Brendon rambles, and he’s kinda shocked that he just admitted that.

“Thanks.” Ryan smiles, feeling a bit awkward.

When the hour is over, they both feel a bit crappy, because they’ll probably never see each other again. Brendon gets up and Ryan gets off of his desk.

“So I guess this was it, huh?” Brendon asks. Ryan sighs and nods.

“You’re a good guy Brendon, and that stuff with your parents, it’ll be okay. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, but don’t tell anyone, otherwise I’ll be arrested,” Ryan laughs. Brendon smiles and walks up to him. He gives him a kiss on his cheek, really close to his mouth. Ryan’s cheeks turn red immediately, and he doesn’t really know what to say.

“Bye sir.” Brendon smirks when he’s about to walk out of the door.

“Bye,” Ryan laughs and Brendon walks away. He’s shocked that he just pretty much kissed Ryan, but he’s also really happy that he did it. He goes to his locker and quickly goes home.

About a month ago he decided to make a blog. He wrote everything down on there, no one knew it was him anyway. And that way he doesn’t have to bottle everything up. Of course he can tell Kitty everything, but that’s different. As soon as he comes home he goes to his room and turns on his laptop. He gets Kitty out of her cage and puts her on the floor. When his laptop is completely started up, he opens internet and posts a blog.

The rest of the week is really crappy, because everyone is still talking about Ryan, but about Brendon too, because he was so close to him. Brendon ignores everything, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. And he’s feeling crappy too because he misses Ryan. But then he remembers that he knows where he lives, so he decided to visit him.

After school he goes to Ryan’s house. He isn’t sure if Ryan will like it, but he goes there anyway. Ryan almost immediately opens the door after Brendon has knocked.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” he asks, looking confused.

“I’m not sure. But I miss talking to you, and this week has been really crappy, I just wanted to see you.” Brendon blurts out.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Ryan says. He’s scared that people will think that they’re together.

“Please?” Brendon says and Ryan sighs. He steps away and lets Brendon come in. He shakes his head and closes the door behind him.

*******************************************************

a/n: If I only post this on monday and friday, it'll take a long long time XD And I've already finished writing two new fics, one is only like 6 chapters, the other 5 long chapters, but still =P I'm already writing new stuff again. But so from now on I'll try to post every monday, wednesday and saturday. But I'll probably forget it half of the time, but still XD I'm gonna try =P

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Drawing : Make Up Model #2

2009-10-26T13:10:32Z

Drawn on 23/10/09

This looks sooooooooooooooo much better than my first Make Up Model drawing XD Still sucks, but oh well XD

Drawing : Music Model #16

2009-10-26T13:08:26Z

Drawn on 20/10/09

Don't even ask XD

Teach Me How To Love (4/11)

2009-10-26T07:36:01Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : thanks for reading =D from now on I'm gonna try to post a chapter every monday and friday.

Brendon goes into the room and sees the tears in Ryan’s eyes.

“Why are you here?” Ryan asks, looking shocked that someone still comes to his class.

“I don’t think you did it,” Brendon says.

“Why?”

“Well, did you?”

“No, of course not,” Ryan quickly says.

“You say you didn’t do it, I believe you,” Brendon says as he sits down.

“Then you’re the only one.” Ryan sighs.

“I don’t care, I know that she made it up because of her F that you didn’t want to change.”

“I know, and I told the headmaster that, but he doesn’t believe me. He’s gonna try to find out the truth in the next two weeks, then he’s gonna call the cops.”

“But that’s ridiculous.”

“Either way, I’m losing my job because of this.” Ryan sighs. “But I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”

“I don’t mind.” Brendon smiles. It just makes him feel more like Ryan trusts him.

“I’m your teacher, and I’m supposed to stay professional, so let’s talk about… I don’t know, school?” Ryan laughs. Brendon shakes his head and looks at his table. For the rest of the hour they just talk about random stuff like tv and music. Of course no one else shows up.

When Brendon walks out of the classroom, some of Caitlin’s friends are standing there.

“So you’re his next victim, huh?” one of the girls says.

“Fuck off, he didn’t rape your friend, she made it up because he wouldn’t change her grade.”

“Is that what he says?”

“That’s what really happened.”

“You’re in love with him, aren’t ya? Defending him and everything.”

“Get a life.”

“Ahh, you love him, but he’s more into girls? Or are you two actually dating and now you’re lying for him?”

“Fuck off.” Brendon rolls his eyes and he walks away, getting angrier with the second.
The whole day Brendon has to listen to everyone gossiping about Ryan. But about the two of them too, because of course the girls made up that they are dating. Brendon is really sick of it, but he just ignores it. But when he wants to go home, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He jumps up and turns around.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Ryan quickly says.

“Oh, well, ehm… what is it?”

“Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Brendon says and he follows him to his classroom. They go into the room and Ryan sits down on his desk.

“Maybe it’s better if you don’t come to my classes anymore.”

“What, why?”

“I’ve heard so many things today, most of them about Caitlin. But they’re talking about you too. And I don’t want you to be called names and stuff because of this situation,” Ryan says, staring at his hands.

“Ryan, I, wait, am I allowed to call you Ryan right now?” Brendon says and Ryan nods. “I don’t care what they say. I know that you’re innocent, and I think you’re an awesome teacher. I like your classes and I don’t care if people hate that. I’ve been called all sorts of stuff. Them gossiping about me dating a teacher isn’t the worst thing,” Brendon laughs. Ryan looks up and smiles.

“That’s really nice of you.”

“It’s the truth. I think you’re awesome,” Brendon says. They look at each other and for a couple of seconds they look into each other’s eyes. But then they both snap out of it and they both feel really awkward.

“I ehm, you should go home,” Ryan quickly says.

“Yeah…,” Brendon says and he walks to the door.

“Brendon?” Ryan says and Brendon turns around. “Don’t call me Ryan when other people are around, okay? And, well, thanks.”

“Your welcome.” Brendon smiles and he leaves the room. Some girls are pointing at him and laughing, but Brendon ignores them and goes to his locker. He feels really good, because he feels like he’s getting closer to Ryan. With a huge smile on his face he goes home.

But when he gets home, his father walks up to him right away and he starts to yell at him because he opened Brendon’s mail and found a letter from a magazine company. It was about Brendon’s subscription to a gay magazine. Brendon had been a subscriber for almost a year, from his own money, on his own account. After getting hit a couple of times, he goes to his room, feeling like shit.

Teach Me How To Love (3/11)

2009-10-24T08:58:02Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : at the end of the chapter

When Brendon is a bit less confused and can think straight again, he gets up and goes to the headmaster’s office. He looks through the tiny window and sees them sitting there. He can’t hear what the headmaster is saying, but he looks furious. Ryan just looks really confused. He stays there, and when Ryan and the headmaster come out of his office fifteen minutes later, he’s still standing there. Ryan has tears in his eyes, but he tries to hide it by blinking a lot.

“Two weeks Ross, two weeks. And Jim and Mike will be in your classroom all day long. If they catch you touching someone, you’re fired,” the headmaster says, and he goes into his office. The two security guys, Jim and Mike, come out and stand behind Ryan.

“What’s wrong?” Brendon asks. He walks up to Ryan and looks curious.

“I ehm… well, I know there’ll be rumours about it away, so you might as well hear it from me. Caitlin claims that I have raped her,” Ryan says, still trying to blink his tears away.

“But that’s not true,” Brendon says right away.

“I know. But let’s go to class and ignore it,” Ryan says and he walks to his classroom. Brendon walks behind him, and the security guys follow them. When they get there, everyone’s whispering and staring at Ryan. Ryan ignores it and walks up to his desk. Brendon sits down and gives him a comforting smile.

During the whole hour, no one listens to Ryan, they just keep talking. They don’t even whisper anymore. Brendon sees how much it hurts Ryan and he wants to make everyone disappear, but he can’t. When everyone finally leaves, Brendon stays.

“Just ignore them, it’s only silly gossip,” Brendon says. Ryan smiles at him and nods.

“Yeah…”

“Well, I should be going to my next class. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“Bye.” Brendon smiles and he leaves the classroom. Then it suddenly hits him that Ryan might lose his job because of this. He feels like he’s gonna be sick and gets dizzy. He goes to his locker, puts his books in there and goes home, even though he’s not allowed to.

When he gets home, his parents are still at work. He grabs something to eat and goes to his room. He puts his food on his desk and sits down in front of Kitty’s cage. He opens the door and she hops out immediately. He gives her a kiss on her little head and gets up. Kitty hops to a pillow in the corner in the room and lies down on it. Brendon sits down at his desk and eats his bread, but it just makes him feel sicker. So he does what usually calms him down, he turns on his laptop and starts writing.

His parents get home at 4 and his mother comes to his room right away. She doesn’t even knock, but storms into his room.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at school.”

“Whatever,” Brendon says without looking up from his laptop. His mother walks up to him and stands next to him.

“Look at me, now!”

“Sorry, I’m busy.” Brendon rolls his eyes. His mother grabs his hair and pulls on it, so Brendon has to face her.

“If I find out you skip school more often, Kitty is gone. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, mom, please stop pulling my hair,” Brendon says with tears in his eyes. His mother pushes his head away and leaves the room. She closes the door behind her, and when Brendon is sure that she’s downstairs, he lets his tears roll down his face. He should be used to it by now. His parents weren’t as sweet as they might seem, because ever since he was little, they had hit him or pulled his hair. Brendon gets up and lies down next to Kitty.

“You’re not going anywhere, I promise,” he whispers and he closes his eyes.

When he wakes up, it’s dark outside. He wants to sit up, but Kitty is sleeping on his stomach. He looks at his clock and sees that it’s almost midnight. He’s really hungry, but he knows that he’s not allowed to eat after 8. He puts Kitty on the pillow and gets up. He walks over to his small window and looks out of it. He just wants to escape from this hell, but he’s only 17. He sighs and goes to his own bathroom. Five minutes later Kitty is in her cage, and Brendon is on his bed, trying to fall asleep.

The next morning, well, only a couple of hours after he fell asleep, he wakes up with a major headache. He has a weird feeling in his stomach and just knows that today is gonna be a bad day. He gets out of bed and gives Kitty food. When he’s dressed, he goes downstairs to have breakfast. But as soon as he walks into the kitchen, his father starts to yell at him for not going to school the day before. Brendon quickly leaves the house before his father hits him.

When he walks into the school, almost no one is there. School starts in 45 minutes, so there aren’t even a lot of teachers. He goes to the cafeteria and sits down. He grabs a book and starts reading. But fifteen minutes later he hears lots of girls talking about Ryan and what he has done to Caitlin. Brendon feels really sorry for Ryan, because he just knows that he didn’t do it. He turns around and sees Ryan walking behind the group of girls, looking exhausted. He sees Brendon and smiles at him. Brendon smiles back and Ryan looks at the floor again.

Ten minutes later Brendon goes to the classroom, even though it’s way too early. Ryan is sitting on his desk again, but he doesn’t seem relaxed, probably because Jim and Mike are sitting in the back of the room. Brendon wants to go inside, but the headmaster storms into the room.

“Jim, Mike, come with me. No one goes to his class anymore anyway, so you can do something else,” he says, and the two men come out of the room and walk away. The headmaster follows and they quickly walk away.

******************************************************************

a/n: Blah, this chapter is pretty boring =P But thanks for reading =D I know I only just started posting this fic, but I've already finished writing a new fic, and I'm writing another one. But they're both pretty short. But still XD Wow, useless information. Shutting up now XD

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Revenge Is Sweeter Than You Ever Were (6/6)

2009-10-22T07:56:23Z

Title : Revenge Is Sweeter Than You Ever Were
Author : Me
POV : 3rd
Summary : Kyra has a girlfriend, Lynn, but Lynn isn't exactly a nice girlfriend. Anne, Kyra's best friend, hates Lynn and wants Kyra to dump her. But Kyra can't dump her, because Lynn threatens to kill herself.
Author Notes : Final chapter =D

The next morning, after Kyra and Anne hear Anne’s parents leaving, they get out of bed and quickly change into their normal clothes. They don’t have breakfast, because they’re both pretty nervous. They go to Lynn’s house, and see her walking away.

“Thankgod we don’t have to wait ‘till she leaves,” Anne says, and they knock on the door. A couple of seconds later Lynn’s mother opens the door.

“Oh, hey Kyra, what are you doing here?”

“We ehm… we have to talk, it’s about Lynn,” Kyra says, and Lynn’s mother let them in. They go to the living room and sit down on one couch, Lynn’s father and mother on the other couch.

“What is it that you have to say?” her mother asks.

“There’s no easy way to say this, but… I’m sorry, I can’t,” Kyra says, and a tear rolls down her cheek. Anne grabs her hand and squeezes in it.

“Lynn cuts herself, and she keeps saying that she’ll kill herself. Kyra cares a lot about your daughter, but Lynn doesn’t treat her right, she hurt her, a lot, and she said that she’d kill herself if they wouldn’t be friends anymore. And we think she’s sick, and that she needs help,” Anne says, feeling guiltier with every word. Kyra is crying by now, and so is Lynn’s mother.

“Kyra, is that true?” Lynn’s father asks.

“I’m sorry…”

“You shouldn’t tell her that you know this, but she used to hurt herself when she was younger, but we thought that it had stopped.”

“I’ve seen the cuts on her wrists and legs, they were all new,” Kyra says, staring at her feet, feeling too guilty to look Lynn’s parents in the eyes.

“Okay, thank you for telling us, we’ll talk to her about it,” Lynn’s father says, and it’s obvious that he wants them to leave. Without saying another word, Anne and Kyra walk to the hallway to leave, but then Lynn walks into the house. She looks really angry when she sees them, and she walks into the living room.

“What are they doing here?” she asks, and her parents get up from the couch. “Why are you crying?” she asks when she sees her mother. Anne and Kyra are still standing in the hallway, and they don’t really know what to do.

“Lynn, are you cutting yourself again?” her father asks.

“No, of course not.” Lynn lies. “Did they say that? They hate me, they’re fucking liars.”

“You’re the liar here,” Kyra says.

“Why are you cutting yourself again?” her mother asks, sounding really hurt.

“I’m not,” Lynn says, and her father walks up to her. He grabs her arm and pushes the bracelets away. He gets tears in his eyes when he sees the cuts.

“We’re gonna get you professional help,” her father says, and she pushes him away.

“I’ll kill myself if you do that!” she yells. Her mother and Kyra are crying real badly by now, and Anne just holds Kyra really tight.

“Girls, you should leave, we’ll take care of this. Thank you for telling us,” Lynn’s father says, and Anne and Kyra leave. They go to Kyra’s house and watch a movie. But when it’s almost over, Anne gets a call from school that she isn’t suspended anymore. Apparently Lynn’s parents had called the school and explained everything.

The next day, during their first class, the headmaster all of the sudden walks into the room.

“Lynn won’t come to school anymore for a while, there are some personal problems in her family,” he says, and everyone starts to talk about it to each other right away. But then he walks up to Anne and Kyra. “Can you two please come with me?”

“Ehm, sure,” Kyra says, and they follow him to the hallway.

“Lynn’s parents called me and told me everything, and even though it was no reason to fight, I understand it. And if you need to talk to someone about dealing with what happened, just come to me, okay?”

“Thanks sir,” Anne says, and Kyra grabs her hand.

“So she really won’t come to school anymore ‘till she’s all better?”

“No, if she comes back, and that’s a big if, then we need proof that she’s all better and that she won’t hurt anyone. But I gotta go now. I just thought you should know,” he says.

“Thanks,” Kyra says, and he walks away.

“You okay?” Anne asks.

“Yeah, I’m glad she’s gonna get better.” Kyra smiles, and she holds Anne’s hand tighter.

“Please promise me that you won’t go back to her when she’s better.”

“I promise, I’m in love with you, not with her.”

“Good.” Anne smiles, “or I’ll kill myself…”

“Shut up,” Kyra laughs, and Anne sticks her tongue out. Kyra wraps her arms around her neck and gives her a long kiss. They look into each other’s eyes and just know that everything will be okay.

Teach Me How To Love (2/11)

2009-10-21T20:50:22Z

Title : Teach Me How To Love
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Brendon / Ryan
POV : 3rd
Summary : Ryan Ross is a teacher at a high school. Brendon is a student at the same high school. Their relationship is just like any other student/teacher relationship. But things change when a girl claims that Ryan has raped her. Brendon is the only one that believes that he didn't do it, and the only one that supports him. But he also has some problems and secrets of his own to deal with.
Disclaimer : This never happened, and I don't own them.
Beta : my friend Priscilla, who doesn't have an account on LJ.
Author Notes : at the end of the chapter

Brendon feels a lot better after he has talked to Ryan. He goes to his locker to get his books. But when he gets there, he sees Caitlin, the girl who was arguing with Ryan earlier. She’s talking to her friends and they all look shocked and very interested. It looks a bit weird, but Brendon ignores it and opens his locker. He puts all his books in there and leaves the school.

“Brendon, is that you?” his mother yells from the kitchen. He sighs and closes the door behind him.

“Yes, it’s me,” he yells back and he goes into the living room. He sees the painting of Jesus hanging above the fireplace and rolls his eyes. He has never hated it so much like he has for the last month. He doesn’t have anything against people who are religious, he’s just against it in general. And of course his parents don’t accept that and try to change it.

“How was school?” his father asks. He’s sitting on the couch, reading a book.

“It was just like any other day,” Brendon says and he puts his backpack on the couch.

“Don’t put it…”

“Dad, I’m just getting something to drink and then I’m going to my room, with my backpack.” He rolls his eyes and goes into the kitchen. His mother is standing there, making dinner.

“How was school?” she asks, not looking up.

“Just like any other day.”

“That’s good honey,” she says while Brendon grabs a can of soda.

“Yes, it’s absolutely fantastic,” Brendon says, obviously being sarcastic. His mother ignores it and keeps cutting the vegetables. Brendon shakes his head and goes back to the living room to get his backpack. His father is still reading his book and he doesn’t even look up when Brendon comes into the room. He grabs his backpack and runs up the stairs, to his room. All doors are white, except for his. His door is painted black with things like ‘Don’t come in!’ and ‘Stay out!’ on it. He only did it to get a reaction from he parents. But they only said that they didn’t like the colour, but that was it. On his 16th birthday he finally got what he asked for, a lock on his door. His parents didn’t like it, but they knew he would get it himself otherwise. He grabs his keys and unlocks the door. He goes into his room and throws his backpack on his bed.

“Thankgod I still have you,” Brendon says and he walks up to the huge cage on the floor. He sits down on the floor, in front of it, and opens the door. A small brown bunny with fluffy hair stares at him with her big black eyes. Brendon laughs and grabs her. He puts her on the floor and she hops onto his leg. She lies down and closes her eyes.

“Hey, Kitty, wake up, we’re not sitting on the floor,” Brendon laughs. He grabs the bunny and gets up. He puts her on his shoulder and walks over to his tv. When he has turned it on, he lies down in his bed and he puts Kitty next to him. She hops onto his stomach and lies down.

About half a year ago Brendon’s best and only friend, Michael, died. He had locked himself in his room for two weeks and refused to talk to anyone. His parents put food in front of the door every morning and night. But one day when he opened the door to get his breakfast and lunch, there was a cage next to it with a tiny bunny in it. Brendon fell in love with her right away and decided to call her Kitty. Now she’s all Brendon has, she’s his best friend, as weird as it might sound.

All weekend long Brendon stays in his room, as usual. He doesn’t talk to anyone, and he doesn’t go anywhere. He has a laptop, but he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Every once in a while he goes onto online chat rooms, but the people that are there are mostly freaks.

On Monday morning, when Brendon wakes up, he feels really weird, but excited. As weird as it might sound, Brendon feels like Ryan is the only person that understands him. He’s the only person that listens to him, the only person that makes him feel like he’s normal. But it doesn’t matter, because Ryan is his teacher.

When he gets to school, he sees Caitlin and her parents coming out of the headmaster’s office. Caitlin and her mother are crying, and her father has his arms around them. Brendon wonders what’s going on, but he can’t just go up to them and ask, so he goes to his locker, and then goes to class. Ryan is already there, sitting on his desk, reading something. No one else is there, but that’s probably because class starts in fifteen minutes. Brendon wants to sit down, to wait until it’s time, but he trips over his own feet and falls down. Ryan hears the noise and gets up, but by the time he’s at the door, Brendon is already standing up again.

“You okay?” Ryan asks. Brendon’s cheeks turn red and Ryan smiles. “Come on, sit down on a chair before you fall again,” he laughs and they go into the classroom. Ryan sits down on his desk again and Brendon sits down behind one of the tables.

“Can I ask you something?” Ryan asks.

“Of course.”

“You seem different, are you sure that that stuff with your parents is the only thing that’s bothering you?”

“Yeah…no… I don’t know. Lately I’ve just been thinking about stuff, and just, I don’t really know.”

“Being a teenager sucks, huh?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Brendon sighs. Ryan smiles at him.

“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here, okay? And so are your other teachers.”

“Right… my other oh so nice teachers.” Brendon rolls his eyes. Ryan wants to say something, but then the door swings open. The headmaster and two security guys are standing there. The headmaster’s face is bright red and he looks like he can kill someone.

“Mr. Ross, you come to office right now!” he says, as angry sounding as possible. Ryan looks confused, but he gets up and walks up to the three men. He wants to say something to Brendon, but he can’t, because the men pull him with them and walk away. Brendon just stays behind, confused as hell.

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a/n: I hope you like it, please leave a comment =D I know, the Kitty thing might be a bit weird, but I wanted him to have a terribly cute pet, because it's really adorable XD